Following Lauren's lead (@thefoodierunner_) , who turned me onto a new person to follow, Ralphie of @simplyonpurpose, I'm joining in on the "I'm this kind of Mom" Movement celebrating all the different types of moms out there adding their own personal "mom-flare" to the world of Parenting.
It's important to celebrate the type of mother you are, rather than the mother you are not... so here are some details of how I parent, and a really good excuse to share some super cute pics that I may or may not have already shared. Join in or comment below with the type of mom you are (or want to be!)
I am the kind of mom who doesn't have strict bedtimes. I have a strict bedtime routine but I start it at anytime of the day that works best for me. I will not stress myself out over the fastly approaching 7:30. If I want to take them out to dinner after a late night fun-run, I do... and if they are driving me absolutely bonkers and I need to get them down earlier than usual just for my own sanity, I do that, too. They don't know how to tell time yet, so I'm enjoying this while it lasts!
I'm the kind of mom who makes her kid(s) say please and thank you.... for everything. I can't think of a time where please and thank you are not useful. You want dinner? Say please. Someone opened your juice box for you? Say thank you. Period... and for God Sakes, if you know how to talk, none of this whining shit.... Which brings me to the next item, I often swear in front of my kids... so hopefully the please and thank you isn't coupled with an F-bomb in the future, and if it is, I hope the please and thank you at least cancel it out.
I'm the kind of mom who Doesn't believe in "crying it out" but doesn't believe in whatever the opposite is either. I want to stick to the same method but just as I need different things, my babies do too. Raea always had better coping skills than Maebel... It's just who she is. I "give in" to Maebel way more than I did for Raea because Maebel needs me more... and also I don't have the energy for some real solid sleep training because there are two of them now, and when one cries, the other wakes up shortly after. I recognize this is a short period of time in our lives and no matter what I do, it will pass... so I do what I can do and move on...
I'm the kind of mom who believes in natural consequence (within reason). My kids have bumps, bruises, and scratches. I let them climb on tables and chairs and jump on the bed... we try new things that maybe we don't like at first, and we keep trying until we are sure... and even then, you might have to wait before I can help get you out of a mess. There's also a healthy amount of rough housing around here. They aren't kids forever and I want them to learn through their own experiences now so that they will be able to do that with more important things in the future. It sounds cheesy (because it is), but I want them to know that it's okay to fall and that I'm here to help them if they need it... but they can probably get up by themselves. Sometimes I crave being a "sweeter" person... but it's just not me. I grew up in a family of 10 and sometimes rubbing a little dirt on it isn't the worst way to grow and learn.
I'm the kind of mom who breastfeeds with my phone in my hand because its the only time I have a full excuse to be sitting and how else will I keep up with instagram? Or someday's when the baby was up late and the toddler was up early and my husband is half way across the country, I let the toddler have the tablet in her room in the morning so I can get an extra few minutes of sleep. Oh, I also used the iPhone to kickstart potty training (we are only in pullups at night, now!) We watch TV on Saturdays for almost the entire morning, and I'm okay with that. I don't think screen time is going to be the death of them. We get outdoors, and do crafts, and all sorts of other things, too!
I'm the kind of mom who doesn't skip bath time. I love giving them baths. I sleep better when I'm clean so I hope and pray they sleep better when they are, too. I still haven't figured out what makes Maebel sleep through the night and what doesn't. Raea has always been easy. She sleeps so deep that she wets her bed and literally doesn't notice and will full blown sleep in her pee until the next morning. So much for being clean (hence still needing the pull-up).
I'm the kind of mom who really really tries to feed my kid well and sometimes that means huge tantrums at night and going to bed hungry. We try to incorporate a green vegetable into every meal. I often bribe my daughter to eat her vegetable's with a dessert... which is two parts strawberries, one part whipped cream. The whipped cream is a small price to pay for the broccoli and spinach... sometimes there are sprinkles involved, too. Whatevs. .
I'm the kind of mom who believes your children come into this world and instantly become your teachers, not always just the other way around... so I try to be open to the lesson that they are here to teach me when times are tough.
I'm the kind of mom who blogs while chaos breaks out. Yup... Chaos. Annnnd my time's up.
Happy Mother's Day!
What kind of mom are you?
IN CASE YOU MISSED THEM, here are my birth stories of my two babys, and some postpartum stuff for all you mamas and mamas to be out there! Hope you enjoyed your day
Since Baby #2 is going to be making its way into the world in these upcoming days or weeks... I have been reflecting and thinking a lot about my first experience with Raea. I thought I'd take the opportunity to blog about it since I never did before.
Let me preface by saying that although it is nearly two years later, I remember most details. I remember being in the worst pain I've ever felt (until the pain got worse... which it did) and looking up at my husband between vomiting and contractions and saying "I'm not going to be one of those women who forgets how painful this is! I'm going to remember this!" and I'm almost certain I have... One thing I wish I did was have more photos. I had my professional camera for once the baby came, but wanted Matt to be "in the moment" and didn't want to give him photography duty... Now I realize how long labor is... We will have more photos this time!
I've never, ever, EVER set a mileage goal for myself... until now.
1000 Pregnancy miles is an easy goal for many, and a huge goal for others... For me? It just continues to unfold in a natural progression. If I wanted it from the beginning, I know I could already be there... But I've just been taking this "running pregnant" thing one week... or even one day at a time and I've tried to listen to my body rather than my Garmin.
My Mileage Background
I've been running competitively for 20 years, and for at least half of that there weren't the tools (map my run, garmin/GPS watches, iPhones) to log your mileage and track your mileage day by day. Unless you drove the route or took a wheel out, you mostly guessed based on time and usually we rounded to at least the nearest quarter mile before writing mileage into the paper log found in the January Runners World Magazine. Until 2008, I never recorded my mileage anywhere.
The majority of my training has been done in minutes over mileage. I've had target pace ranges to hit, so there was still a general idea of mileage expectations... but no one ever talked about it. I literally didn't keep track of that at all. I finished runs that were just a tenth shy of a whole number and it didn't matter. If it was a 60 minute run, I ran 60 minutes. That's it.
Other than a very brief stint under a college who pushed me to 97 Miles in preseason (it would have been 100 if there wasn't a mandated cancelled practice due to heat and a death of a local collegiate football player), I've been a low mileage runner.
-I ran 17:00 5k off of an average of 35-45 Miles Per Week with one scheduled weekly off day
-I ran 3:05 (pre-baby) off of a high of 61 Miles per week with a day off every two weeks
-I ran 3:05 (post-baby, post-surgery) with a high of 65 MPW
-I've only done 6 documented consecutive weeks above 50 MPW in my running career. I barely ever see above 50.
There's no doubt mileage is important, especially in marathon training... but not at the expense of health.
While training under a very demanding college coach, I fractured my T-12, the 12th thoracic vertebra, my back. In the process of healing this injury, I found out that I have an abnormality in my spine which makes it tricky to ward off imbalances. I'm very frequently injured on the right side of my body, and as a result I keep the mileage low. I focus on Quality over Quantity.... and it's worked.
So why am I focused on Mileage now?
Truthfully, I'm just trying to pass the time! When I first found out I was pregnant, I had no idea I would still be running at 35 weeks pregnant. I remember being pregnant with Raea and how miserable I was at 35 weeks. My goal was to create a habit of running or walking at least a mile 5 days a week or until my doctor said I had to stop. For some reason I thought I'd be stopped by now! (and kinda hoped I would be!).
Pregnancy miles in a strava graph: High of 50.0, Low of 0, Total of 927 Miles, Average of 27.2
The mileage of my first trimester was probably completely equivalent to what I would have done had I not been pregnant.
0-12 weeks: 319.8 Miles Average: 26.5
Looking at the graph, you can see that I had some down time. Although the timing was excellent for morning sickness, and holidays... It had nothing to do with that. In early October, I ran the Hartford Marathon in 3:05:08, I qualified for Boston 2018, and my husband and I began discussing our plans to grow our family (and timing it so I could run Boston! haha!) I took 3 days off from the marathon (something I would normally take a week or two off from) and jumped right into Cross Country. I kept the mileage really low and fast because I had all the base I needed, I just had to flush the marathon legs out and build speed as quickly as possible. I had my sights set on a sub 22 minute effort at XC club nationals (6k). My team was also in a three way tie for first in the XC series, and my points were going to make a big difference (we finished in a close second). I ran Mayors Cup in 19:08, then the New England Championship in 22:23 (6k), then I ran a Thanksgiving Day race, knowing there was a possibility I was pregnant, in 18:09 (I hoped to run sub 18, but with the 150ft of elevation gain and the beginning stages of pregnancy already occurring, I'll take it! Not a bad pregnancy 5k PR! ;)). Just days after I raced I got a positive test on the exact day my Father in Law passed away... very tricky emotions there... I still wish I got to the hospital in time to tell him... but I think he knows now... Anyway, my team was heading to XC Club Nationals in Florida, and I was heading down with them. Due to the family death I needed to move my flight. I spent the week leading up to the wake and funeral rearranging and seeing if it was possible to do both. In hindsight I wish I hadn't gone, but I'm a person who sticks to my word, and I also knew I was pregnant and wasn't sure I'd ever get a chance to go to XC Nationals again.... I flew the night of the funeral, landed in Jacksonville at 11:00pm, drove to Tallahassee (3 hours) and got there at 2am, then got up to get ready for the race a few hours later. I left Tallahassee at 3am the morning after the race (which was pretty much the same day since I basically didn't sleep) and then drove 3 hours back to Jacksonville, and flew home. I was under the weather when I got to FL, and ran well considering the circumstance (23:11), but I was MUCH WORSE when I got home. I still went to work right when I returned because I had taken so many days for the funeral etc. and now I needed to start saving my days for Maternity Leave. But as planned, I went right into my 2 weeks off, the weeks I would have taken off post marathon. My body needed it and would have needed it regardless of pregnancy. The next part of my first trimester I spent slowly building the mileage back up while I still felt "good" (sick... unable to eat... but... tolerable). I would have taken my time in this build regardless of pregnancy... but it was always in the back of my mind!
The very start of the second trimester was the hardest for me. I was tired often, working a lot, and... snow. F'ing snow. Like... Seasonal Effective Disorder in full effect. Whyyyyyy would I want to run out there when I'm just going to get fat and out of shape anyway? I had no guidance, no goals, and no clue what was going on with my body. Matt got a new job making him MIA for many days and nights at a time. Raea started Daycare... which meant she was sick often... and so I was sick often. It was just messy and you can see it from the graph. I'd have a good week, and then be so proud of that week that when fatigue set in during the next week I'd say "well, I guess this is it"... I'd take a few days off and then I'd feel good again. Up-down, up-down, up-down.... I sucked.
Weeks 13-27 428.9 miles Average: 28.5
Weirdly, the trimester I expected to feel the worst in, I actually feel the best. I'm used to my body being... robust at this point. I'm used to the fatigue, the hunger, the tiredness... I'm feeling more confident that the baby is healthy, the weather is nicer, I've figured out my own personal "dos" and "don'ts"....what works for me, and what doesn't. So I started the 26.2 weekly mile goal. When I looked at the second trimester graph, I realized I was ebbing and flowing so much that I was better off to just relinquish any expectation of running above 30 miles per week... and I began focusing on being more consistent. When I figured out the "time on feet" I'm running equivalent to a 37-40 mile week... which is pretty damn good considering my high mileage in a marathon training cycle is only 60!
Weeks 28-34 -179.4 miles Average 25.6
Total as of the end of 34 Weeks: 927 Miles, Average: 27.2
In a weird way, I've been completely consistent! It just wasn't until the last trimester that I figured the whole thing out. I thought I'd be done with 26.2 weekly miles at this point and I'd just be shooting for a half marathon or something, but then the 1000 pregnancy miles came into view... and after doing the math, I could probably hit 1,000 by week 38 (my baby is measuring on the large side, so I need a buffer... just in case!) and so I continue! I want to find reasons to stop running or to take extra days off... but with just shy of 70 miles to go and 4.5 (theoretical) weeks left of pregnancy, I have found new purpose in my pregnant running! At the end of the day, all I care about is a healthy baby! Instead of sitting around waiting for a baby to come, I'll just keep running in whatever capacity my body allows me to! I had a little injury scare recently which made me question my decision to ever put a mileage goal out to the world... Numbers can make listening to your body so much more difficult, but I did a good job (with insta-help!) navigating my emotions and communicating with my body, and I feel confident I can still hit 1k before the baby comes!
But if I don't?
As long as I don't get hurt during this whole process, and I deliver a healthy baby... I'll be as happy as can be! As soon as this baby is here my focus will be on him (or her... I'm so convinced it's a boy! but am going to be so happy to just meet this baby, I really don't care about the gender!) and as I get used to being a mom of two, my focus will shift a tad back to training and I'll have my eyes on the sub3 Boston 2018!
Baby Germain is the size of (I stopped checking... It's big)
This week's craving: Nothing
This week's aversion: Nothing
I'm just hungry often.
MONDAY- 6.2 rail trail miles- I lost 2 tenths from the bathroom stop to the turn hair pin turn, but I did an out and back so when I got back and was at 5.8 I added on the .2 anyway... because I'm psycho. I'm not sure if I "regret" this run... but maybe I should have stopped at 5? or at least at 5.8? I was really determined to run 26.2 this week despite the very busy and challenging plans I had for the end of the week.... I was very sore after this. Matt and I went to the fireworks with Raea, there was obviously lots of walking from the parking involved... just adding to the soreness. I had a really hard time sleeping and woke up several times from groin pain and hamstring pain. I KT taped the shit out of myself in hopes to feel better the following day.
TUESDAY- ZERO- The way I had planned my mileage for the week was to front load it and take pressure off of later in the week. I was going to take Saturday off completely... but when I started calculating what my rolling 7 was going to look like it was in the 40's... SO I said "well, that's really dumb, every inch of you hurts, take the day off"... and so I did. I thought I could still do the 26.2 and continued to plan that way.... but I foolishly kept adding more social events to my calendar, so I didn't get the rest I needed. Matt and I threw together a last minute Fourth of July party because I cancelled my run plans on Chrissy, so we invited her and Mani over... then we just invited more people over. We invited 15 and 13 came... It was a lot of fun and totally worth it, but a lot of standing on my feet cooking, cleaning, and general entertaining.
WEDNESDAY 6 up in Rye. I can't complain about how my week went, there are much more important things to worry about than my mileage... My sisters Mother in Law had passed away suddenly and after a few days of this absorbing, I went up there just to visit with her and her husband Dan and try to take their mind off of things. She's about a 2 hour drive, plus multiple stops in various places. I swear, driving is the single most damaging thing runners do outside of running itself. We had a great day, I got to run at the beach, but on the way home I hit MASSIVE traffic and although I left my sisters at 8pm, I didn't get home until around 12am. Raea slept in the car fortunately. Again, I don't "regret" doing this... It just is something that wasn't helping my running out at all... BUT my run was BEAUTIFUL and I actually felt really good... until the drive.
THURSDAY: 3 Fun Run Miles: Raea had her last day at Daycare today so I got an adjustment and a 90 minute prenatal massage. I went shopping for some things I need for the weekend, and headed to the fun run. I would have run during the day if I knew that Lisa wasn't going to be at the fun run, but I didn't think to ask- my bad. My sister was there though, and she watched Raea while I ran. The fun run was VERY crowded and with a different group than usual. Jane was working, and it's a lot to watch a 2 year old at work. Normally I don't worry about her so much, but there was literally no one else in the store that I trusted with her. Normally there's a handful of people, so I wanted to make sure I got back with everyone else instead of adding on. Here is where I miscounted for the week... My plan was to do 4.
FRIDAY: OFF, Stone Wedding: My husband was the officiant for this wedding, I was just a guest. I felt okay enough to run but just made a decision that I was not treating myself well and I just had to put my foot down and not try and squeeze in runs when I had a questionable level of pain and I had a lot of other things going on! I wish I connected to satellite to see how many miles I walked or danced around! Maybe I would have hit my weekly mileage afterall! I had to drive separate from Matt because I had a wedding at home the next morning, but he had an event up where the wedding was the next morning... SO again, my running nemesis, LOTS of driving! 90 minutes to and from. I got home around 11pm
SATURDAY- OFF, Kara and Todds wedding. This wedding I was photographing, so I needed to be on my A-Game. The wedding was at 10am, and I needed to meet Kara at 9 for pre-wedding photos. I planned my whole pregnancy with this wedding in mind (otherwise I'd probably have a baby already!) Matt and I put off "trying" to have baby number 2 until I was at least a month out from Karas wedding. Raea was a surprise and I photographed a wedding at 37.5 weeks pregnant! That was nerve-wracking! I didn't want to do that again! I also wasn't expecting we'd be successful right away, I assumed we would need a few months since so many people I am close with struggled to get pregnant, but this is something I obviously don't have a problem with. (My heart aches for those struggling in this area, and many prayers to all of you!) So I had told Kara pretty early that I was going to be very pregnant for her wedding, but that I'd be fine.... or I'd hire someone to replace me... which I didn't have to do, but the night before I was very worried... you just never know! The wedding was beautiful and I was very happy to be done early. My legs on the other hand? SO SWOLLEN from the two weddings!
SUNDAY- 4 Easy Miles: I felt okay! After 2 days off, I still think I can run! Just it has to be very easy... I looped fields to keep impact down, and will probably be doing a lot of this for the remainder of my training. I'm excited to have nothing major in front of me other than this baby! (My husband has a lot going on, but nothing that involves me too much!)
**TOTAL MILES: 19.4**
I thought I was hitting 20 miles, but I forgot I shortened Thursday to 3 miles instead of 4... SO this is what I got. It's OKAY! I have 85 more miles to hit 1000 pregnancy miles, which is a goal I just realized I may be able to hit, but at this point it's somewhat dependent on when the baby actually comes. I'm going to aim for 20-26.2 miles per week from here on out. Anything between those numbers is good and should get me to that 1k Pregnancy Miles!
PT drills from Meg 3x this week
Looking Forward To: The baby. That's all I've got. Just looking forward to meeting this baby!
Gender Prediction: I'm ready to meet my baby boy, but MAN will I be surprised (and also so happy!) if it's a girl!
Total Pregnancy Miles: 926.9
You can follow me here: c_mom_run_fast
My goal is to:
a. inspire, empower, and share my story with others since there is VERY LITTLE on running and competing pregnant out there
b. Just to get my fat ass out the door each day and the more followers I have the more I feel like I have an obligation to go! Whatever works! Those of you following and commenting are helping me more than you know!
I hit an instagram Milestone this week: over 2,000 followers!
Thanks again for your support!
Welcome to my blog! I blogged my entire pregnancy in 2017 and I had high hopes for where I could take my running after baby number 2, but my body had other plans. At some point I got too discouraged to write and recently realized that it is essential for my personal growth and development to keep putting feelings into coherent(ish) thoughts. I still hope to run sub 2:45 in the marathon one day, but for now I’m trying to focus on the process and I’m learning to enjoy it. You can come along for the ride, apologies in advance for grammatical incorrectness!